Is Your Child Afraid of Making Mistakes in Sports? Here’s How You Can Help

Does your child do well during practice but freeze up when it’s time for a game? Or get so frustrated after making a mistake that they don’t want to practice anymore?

For some young athletes, the fear of making mistakes can become stronger than the willingness to try. And while mistakes are part of learning any sport, the way children and teens learn to deal with them can influence their confidence.

A study of 336 young athletes in team sports, including volleyball, found a stronger association with fear of failure in environments perceived as more focused on performance, while environments centered on learning and enjoyment showed a weaker association.

Certain things parents say and do can help children handle these moments better, showing them that making mistakes, adjusting, and trying again are all part of the game.

Why Are Young Athletes Afraid of Making Mistakes?

The fear of making mistakes can have different causes. Some young athletes worry about disappointing their team, their parents, or their coach. Others compare themselves to more experienced players or begin to believe they need to get every play right to prove they are good at the sport.

The pressure can also come from the child themselves. When they set very high expectations for their own performance, a missed serve or a bad pass can feel much bigger than it really is.

During competition, this worry can become even stronger. Instead of simply focusing on the next play, the athlete may start thinking about the consequences of making a mistake: “What if I lose the point?” “What if my team gets upset?” “What if everyone notices my mistake?”

Understanding where this worry may be coming from is an important first step, because not every child who is afraid of making mistakes will express it by saying they are scared.

What Fear of Failure Can Look Like in Youth Sports

The fear of making mistakes doesn’t always show up as a simple “I’m scared.” It can often appear through small behaviors or comments before, during, or after a practice or game.

A child may avoid trying a new skill, become very frustrated after a play doesn’t go as expected, or constantly seek approval from parents and coaches. In other cases, they may start playing overly cautiously to reduce the chances of making a mistake.

It’s also worth paying attention to phrases that start coming up frequently:

“What if I miss?” “Everyone else is better than me.” “I’m not good at this.” “I don’t want to play today.”

An occasional moment of frustration is part of sports. But when it starts happening repeatedly and affects a child’s willingness to try, learn, or enjoy the experience, it may be a sign that they need help seeing mistakes in a different way.

How Parents Can Help Kids Handle Mistakes and Build Confidence

Parents can’t prevent their children from making mistakes or feeling bad about them, and they don’t need to. What they can do is help them develop a healthier relationship with these moments, showing them that one mistake doesn’t erase everything they’ve already learned or determine what will happen on the next play.

Small changes in the way parents talk about practices, results, and performance can help shift the focus away from feeling like they always have to get everything right and toward understanding that, above all, they are there to learn and have fun.

1. Shift the Focus From Results to Progress

After a practice or game, it’s natural to want to know the result. But when every conversation revolves around who won, how many points were scored, or how many mistakes were made, children may begin to evaluate their own performance based only on those things.

Try asking questions that shift their attention toward the learning process:

“What did you learn today?” “What felt easier than last time?” “What do you want to try again at the next practice?”

2. Choose Your Words After a Mistake

When a play goes wrong, the first reaction from the adults around the child can also influence how they interpret that moment. Not every mistake needs to be immediately corrected or turned into an analysis of what they should have done differently.

After a missed serve, for example, that may not be the right moment to say, “You should have tossed the ball higher.” Technical feedback can be left to the coach and the next practice. As a parent, you can help your child understand that the mistake happened, but the game goes on. Try saying:

“It happens. What matters is what you do next.” “You’ll have another chance. Keep going.”

3. Teach Them That Mistakes Are Part of Learning

Learning a sport takes repetition, and not every attempt will be successful. That’s why it’s important to help children understand that making mistakes is not the opposite of learning, it’s part of the process. In volleyball, for example, development often looks like this:

TRY → MISS → ADJUST → TRY AGAIN

4. Help Them Focus on the Next Play

A mistake may last only a few seconds, but it can stay on an athlete’s mind for several plays. After missing a serve or a pass, it’s easy to keep thinking about what happened and lose focus on the game.

Help your child develop the habit of staying focused and moving forward. A few simple strategies can help: taking a deep breath, getting back into position, looking at their teammates, or using a short word like “next” to redirect their attention.

5. Let Coaches Coach

During a practice or game, children are already paying attention to the ball, their teammates, the next play, and their coach’s instructions. When they receive different instructions from their parents at the same time, it can become confusing.

Whenever possible, leave the technical guidance to the coach. The coach can help the athlete understand what happened, make the necessary adjustments, and practice again.

6. Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence often grows through small achievements that show something that once felt difficult is starting to become easier. In volleyball, this might mean getting a first serve over the net, gaining better control of a pass, calling for the ball during a play, or simply trying again after making a mistake.

The Environment Matters, Too

A positive learning environment isn’t one where mistakes don’t happen. On the contrary, it’s one that creates space for mistakes to happen, be corrected, and become part of the learning process.

This includes having coaches who teach progressively, provide clear guidance, and recognize each athlete’s effort and improvement.

Especially for beginners, knowing there is space to learn at their own pace, ask questions, try again, and celebrate small achievements can make their experience with sports much more positive.

In the end, confidence means knowing that when something goes wrong, you can learn from it and try again.

The goal isn’t to make sure children and teens never feel frustrated after making a mistake. Those feelings are part of sports. What matters most is helping them understand that one play or one mistake does not define their ability as an athlete.

With support, practice, and room to learn, young athletes can build the confidence to keep trying, even when things don’t go as planned.

At Volleyball Academy, we believe learning happens step by step. Our coaches help each player develop their skills at their own pace, in an environment where practicing, making mistakes, adjusting, and trying again are all part of the process.

Want to help your child build confidence on the court? Explore our programs and find the right class for them.